The Author-izer

It’s a busy day in the writing world:

• The Role of Retailers, Distributors and Wholesalers in the Book Trade –
• Bowker Reports Traditional U.S. Book Production Flat in 2009 –
• Adventures in Smashwords – Getting Premium Distribution –
• Adventures with Smashwords – Publishing an E-Book –
• Adventures with Smashwords – Signing Up as a Small Publisher –
• Wholesale eBook Sales Statistics –
• Google Book Editions and a ‘New World Order’ in Book Publishing –

Here’s what I’ve tagged for July 30th through July 31st:

• Gobbledygook Grader –
• Group Story :: Collaborative Photo Books –
• Published.com – A Free Book Directory. Discover The Best Books Today. –

Now here’s a headline to catch the eye: “Is Your Writing Driving Away Clients?”

Ernest Nicastro’s RainToday article about the dangers of “corporatese” isn’t really news to anyone who’s ever played Buzzword Bingo, but it’s a good reminder that the last thing you want to sound is more corporate.

There are, in fact, people who say things like “leverages a proprietary framework” every day, people who can’t just use things but have to “utilize” them. If you spend too much time with those people, you might forget that to most people, those words are completely meaningless.

Nicastro recommends using some of the tools built into Microsoft Word to help you eschew obfuscation.

Long ago, there used to be a tool called Bullfighter, a plugin for Word that specifically targeted business jargon. The most recent version is designed to work for Windows XP, so might not work with more recent operating systems and versions of Word, but there’s a hilarious “Mystery Matador” online option. I tried pasting in part of the sample text from Nicastro’s article:

“In other words, sir, Leader Coaching’s services meet the expectations of business leaders who recognize the value of purposeful investments in human capital—often beginning with themselves—as a means of preparing and aligning people and systems in pursuit of growth.”

Bullfighter’s analysis was as follows:

Flesch Diagnosis: You like to hear yourself write. Despairing of the thought of bringing a sentence to a close with something as demeaningly ordinary as a simple period, you shower readers with gratuitous, interminable and often weighty if not impossibly labyrinthine prose. Meaning lingers, albeit awash in a thick tide of metaphor and exposition that threatens to drown the writer’s message. Seek help.

In a comment on Nicastro’s article, Gail Ludewig pointed to HubSpot’s Gobbledygook Grader, built with help from David Meerman Scott. This is a less snarky version of the Bullfighter. While it pegged the reading level necessary to comprehend this 38-word sentence as “graduate,” it didn’t dismiss any of the words as gobbledygook.

Taken separately, each of the words in that description of Leader Coaching’s services is fairly simple, but the cumulative effect is to make the reader wonder “And what’s that when it’s at home?”

Anyone you actually want to work with is smart enough to recognize corporatese as “full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Or, as the authors of Why Business People Speak Like Idiots (Amazon Associates link) would put it, bull. They suspect that if you have to use words like that, you don’t have products or services worth talking about.

And they’re probably right, too.

Here’s what I’ve tagged for July 21st through July 28th:

• White Paper Marketing – 10 Tips for Promoting B2B White Papers –
• Ghostwrite Pro — Ghostwriting tips, quips, and laments for ghosts…by ghosts. –
• eBook vs. Hardcover: Beyond the Headlines | Digital Book World –

Elizabeth Marshall, host of Author Teleseminars, asked me to let my readers know about her upcoming workshop for aspiring authors.

Book Breakthrough NYC │ Ideas + Relationships + Strategy
Date: Thursday, Jul 29 to Saturday, Jul 31
Location: Doubletree Metropolitan Hotel (New York City)

http://www.BookBreakthrough.com

At the event, we’ll have a select group of top NYC publishing experts along with NY Times bestselling author, Michael Port, so it’s a great opportunity for aspiring authors and messengers who are committed to getting their book and message out to the world.

If you follow that link, you get one of those long-copy sales letters I so dislike, but if you read all the way to the bottom, you’ll find the important part:

Our Book Breakthrough NYC event is ideal for:

• Coaches, consultants and service professionals who feel “called” to deliver a message to a much wider audience
• Entrepreneurs and business experts who want become a recognized expert in their field or industry
• Leaders and executives who know that a book is an essential next step for their career
• Speakers, teachers and helping professionals who want to expand their influence and impact thousands of lives
• Both aspiring and already published authors who want a fresh perspective on how to expand their reach, publish a new idea and build their “platform” (don’t worry, we’ll explain if this concept is new to you)

In addition, this workshop is INVALUBLE if you:

• Have a self-published book or partially written manuscript and need help on how to build an audience and following to attract a literary agent, publisher or plan to successfully publish your book on your own
• Want feedback and help on how to come up with your BIG IDEA

BUT, so that we’re clear on what to expect, the Book Breakthrough NYC is NOT for:

Fiction authors who just want to learn about crafting and pitching (however, this event IS great for helping you learn how to build your “tribe” and an audience for your work)

Authors who are looking for a specific “book launch plan” or a formula for how to reach bestseller status (but we WILL discuss the essential marketing elements that lead up a successful launch and help sustain book sales)

Any aspiring author or messenger who’s not open or willing to receive feedback and direction about your idea and your publishing plans.

I have no affiliation with the event, so if you hand over your $697 ($1297 after today, July 16th), I don’t get a cut of it. And no, I don’t know what Elizabeth means by “messengers,” except that it’s not people on bicycles delivering packages.

Here’s what I’ve tagged for July 6th through July 14th:

• The Online Matchmaker for Publishers & Great Writing ǀ Pubmission –
• Unagented Writer? Editor Drowning in Slush? Pubmission.com Promises to Help –
• Seth’s Blog: Publishing books to make money… –

Here’s what I’ve tagged for June 25th through July 3rd:

• The Most Overused Buzzwords and Marketing Speak in Press Releases | Adam Sherk –
• If You Ignore Customers’ Questions, You’ll Kill the Sale – by Jeff Sexton –
• Five Things You Need To Know About Ghostwriting « Justin P Lambert – Writer –

Here’s what I’ve tagged for May 11th through June 14th:

• Apple opens the door for authors to self-publish – Internet Retailer –
• Bowker’s Andy Weissberg on ISBNs and the Future of the Book — The Book Designer –
• Jessica Kaye: The Making (and Selling) of a Good Audiobook — The Book Designer –

Here’s what I’ve tagged for May 2nd through May 7th:

• Ghostwriters are more than a phantom presence – Herald Scotland | Arts & Ents | Book Features –
• Bulletin: New Book Technology « Ask the Agent –
• Leanpub — Publish Early, Publish Often –

I’m taking part in a panel on writers and editors with websites for the Bay Area Editors’ Forum tomorrow evening at 6 PM. To quote from the panelist guidelines I received,

The point of this friendly, peer discussion is for you to candidly share whatever you can about your experience related to having your own website, for the benefit of those who are considering launching their own…or those who may be in the middle of it themselves, including:

• why you decided to establish your own site
• what preparation was required
• what initial and ongoing costs to expect
• how much time/effort it takes to manage your site
• what you manage yourself and what you hire out
• what benefits you have realized since you’ve had a site
• how you may be promoting your site
• if you have decided to integrate social media
• what you wish you’d known before you started
• pitfalls to avoid and lessons learned

If You’re Going

Thursday, April 29, 2010
6:00-8:30 PM

4th Floor
Mechanics Institute
57 Post Street
San Francisco

BART: Montgomery St
Parking: Sutter-Stockton Garage

Free Admission